A good theory of motivation has to recognize the fact that we are each motivated differently. In the practice of neurolinguistic programming or "NLP" this is taken into account in a number of ways.
One of the more useful NLP theories is the concept of "away-from" and "towards" personalities, otherwise known as "approach" or "avoidance" stances. Of course, we each use both ways of operating in the way we function, but often one will be more dominant than the other. Those of us use focus on "towards" motivation will be more affected by thoughts of future rewards. Those of us with a primarily "away-from" style will be more affected by thoughts of escaping pain or trouble. So, in some sense, Freud was right: we're either avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. Both work, but differently.
Here's a test to get an idea about which motivational style works for you. Read the following two descriptions about what having millions of dollars might mean to you.
- You are safe and secure. You never have to return to your job or do anything you don't want to do. You have the means to easily eliminate most of your problems. You have everything you need to be free and comfortable.
- You have the house of your dreams and your favorite car. You can buy anything you want for yourself and your friends, and you can do what you want. You have the means to achieve any of your goals.
Which description is more compelling for you? If it's the first, you primarily have an "away-from" or avoidance orientation to motivation. If you feel more motivated by the second description, you have a "towards" or approach orientation.
There are good and bad aspects of both types. "Towards" individuals make good entrepreneurs, for example, but often get into trouble because they don't plan well enough to avoid problems. In contrast, "away-from" individuals manage things well and avoid problems, but don't do as well at big goals.
So how can you use this knowledge about yourself to your best advantage? Suppose you want to make more money and you are a "towards" person. You would envision the things you'll buy and do with that money, but also be aware that you may be glossing over the problems. If you are an "away-from" person, you'll need to continually remind yourself what a mess it will be if you fail. Otherwise you'll lose your motivation once you reach some level of comfort.
Of course, when you understand these two orientations, you can also influence others more easily. If you wanted to sell a new service to someone, for example, you need to first determine if he or she is motivated away from things or towards things. Knowing this would help you frame your benefits in a way that your client would better absorb and use.
In one case, you might explain how this new service will reduce your client's current load of hassles, or how it will make life easier and more predictable. In the other case, you would explain how how the service will aid their visibility or sense of accomplishment, or better position your client for future goals.
You can play with this theory, and practice using this knowledge to influence others, but don't forget to influence yourself. While it is useful for understanding and influencing others, this is a motivation theory that is best used to affect your own self improvement.
